EAT A BAG OF DICKS
Don't you wish you could just tell that special idiot you know to eat a bag of dicks. Wouldn't it be even better if you could actually give them a bag of dicks to eat? Now you can!
We will gladly send a bag of hard candy dicks along with a card that says:
A DYSFUNCTIONAL VETERAN SOMEWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WOULD LIKE YOU TO... EAT A BAG OF DICKS
We can ship this right to any address you wish! Just enter the shipping address at checkout. Your information will not be included with the shipment.